lets go where eagles dare

i aint no goddamn son of a bitch.

so dead, h8 life

all i do is work.




after work today, i washed my laundry in my bathtub.

want vs. need vs. should

i am terrifying.

ya ken?

having recently read most of trainspotting, i'm noticing a couple things:

1. i insult people in my head with what the book has taught me of scottish slang and insults: doss cunt, draftpak, pish heid... stuff like that.

2. when i'm upset, affronted by someones actions, feeling left out or for whatever reason in a bad mood/disappointed, i calm myself down and get myself up and going by thinking about how SOME of the characters in the book would react (not begbie). they'd stay cool, wouldn't let it show, find other ways to feel good... you know, just fuck whatever it is and stop caring so much. i'm not meaning to say i'd like to emulate these characters or that what they've got is really desirable.. but that part sure as fuck is. i think the best thing you can do in some situations is to just be indifferent or to ATLEAST feign indifference.

The city is beautiful when its snowing and the trees look like lace! I rode my bike around in the snow, and i nearly froze to death, but it was really pretty and i can trade in some comfort for beauty once in a while. I want to make sure i draw a lot of pictures of the winter, because its my most favorite season aesthetically. I'm going to try and put out a zine or two this winter break, nothing too political or deep, just drawings and ideas. I might not even pass them out, just keep them to myself and maybe post them on here. Winter makes me feel really productive and driven with purpose.

1st semester o'college.

i couldn't get her right side up, its my mom as a bat.

oooh contour.



















i like chicago, i like being here. so far, so good. growing up can be some shit, and it's hard to keep your head up and i'm glad i did.

ok goodnight.

you've got a call so pick up the phone, hey hey!

i'm so tired, but it just doesn't seem right to go to bed anytime before 3 o'clock lately.

shitty things:
sinus infection
olivia's in milwaukee
there's pumpkin all over the kitchen floor
someone threw a flaming piece of garbage down the garbage shoot this evening in my building and we were all shuffled outside for way too long in the cold, cold, windy city.

wonderful things:
my sinus infection seems to be improving
olivia moves here really, really soon
i had a lot of fun carving pumpkins, and mine is badass.
the fact that someone threw a flaming piece of garbage down the garbage shoot this evening, gives me more leverage with my parents to talk them into being ok with me moving out of dwight soon.


ii'm going to post some of my latest drawings i've had to do in my drawing class soon, but currently i don't have the energy to get up and fish around my room for the printer cable, and my sketch book. so that'll just have to be something to do later.

things i must do soon:
steal more toilet paper (we havent had any for 3 days, and paper towel is a little uncomfortable)
agenda for the CAN meeting
find a new apartment
-figure out what i can afford, and how much it costs to break my housing contract or how to sublet an apartment space.
go to sleep.

i'll get on that last one now : )